Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
