dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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