Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
