She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
