i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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