definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
is that a dick in a sweater?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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