Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
