He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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