i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.