On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.