with your own penis?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life