In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
