I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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