If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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