Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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