listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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