does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I will pee on everything he values.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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