Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
