somebody snuck up and got me drunk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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