which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
