I want to have your abortion
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
