Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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