FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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