doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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