haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
