I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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