i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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