id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
