whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
