Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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