tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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