I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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