flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
