What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
