hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need water and some morals
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize