i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there was a trapeze. enough said
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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