this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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