You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
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stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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