What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just google imaged poop.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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