Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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