when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
