Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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