Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
