Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
