no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
then he tried to convert me to islam
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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