saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
