I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
