I puked a lego.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
