i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
