I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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