You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
