For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize