i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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