I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
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You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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