At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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