If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
