I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Randomize
