im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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