with your own penis?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize