haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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