I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize