"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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