You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
