she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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