Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
