maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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