so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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