Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I see more hoeing in ur future
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