just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
