Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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