just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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