Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hello my rib-scented angel!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
