No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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