what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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