Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she looked like the before picture.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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